“Why me?”

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We’re in charge of requests, not results. Results are God’s department.

I don’t think God’s waiting for us to wince enough when we pray or to use certain spiritual formulas (which tend to be more magical than spiritual). Donald Miller writes, “Formulas seem much better than God because formulas offer control; and God, well, He is like a person, and people, as we all know, are complicated.”

So why does God heal one and not another? Why does he sometimes heal cancer and sometimes not? God does what he does—usually without explanations or reasons that are apparent to us. He is who he is, and he doesn’t need to explain his logic to us.

Whenever I cycle through the “Why me?” attitude, which depends on my mood when I wake up, I hear God’s response: “Why not you? Would you rather someone else get sick?”

That silences me for a moment. “Okay, you have a point. But make some people well. Please.”

“Perpetual springtime is not allowed…You have been treated with a severe mercy.” CS Lewis


– Originally published in The Other End of the Dark: A Memoir About Divorce, Cancer, and Things God Does Anyway

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