Mothers of sons are notorious for giving good advice about life stuff. OK, usually. There once was a king about whom we know nothing whose mother counseled him about how to be the best ruler possible. David’s son Solomon was a king about whom we know a lot––the good, the bad, and the ugly. He apparently knew the king whose mother taught him well about how kings should conduct themselves and transcribed some of her counsel at the conclusion of his book of Proverbs.
“The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.” (Proverbs 31:1)
First off, you gotta love a guy, especially a guy who’s a king who listens to his mother!
Lemuel wasn’t a Jewish king. We have a complete list of those in the Bible. The most likely theory is he was a secular leader somewhere inSolom a camel-ride distance from Israel. His mother’s counsel can be boiled down to a couple of character qualities (self-control and empathy) all rulers, secular and spiritual alike, should pay attention to. But since Lemuel was likely not a faith leader, let’s concentrate on the mandates that apply even to secular rulers of nations.
Even secular rulers must have SELF-CONTROL in regard to sex and other Intoxicants
“Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings… it is not for kings to drink wine… or crave beer.” (Proverbs 31:3)
She warns her boy to have self-control with women and alcohol, two areas which have historically been the undoing of many a government leader. Sexual sin, she says, saps a person’s strength and ruins his reputation, not mention the damage it does to his family. Just ask any number of morally-failed rulers we know about.
Evidently, leaders who lack integrity in the sexual area are suspect in other areas.
“Character DOES matter,” said Focus on the Family, James Dobson, when Bill Clinton’s antics in the White House were found out. “You can’t run a family, let alone a country, without it.” Dobson called out what he termed a “virtue deficit.” Ralph Reed of the Christian Coalition said at the time, “We care about the conduct of our leaders, and we will not rest until we have leaders of good moral character.” Billy Graham’s son Franklin asked, “If he will lie to or mislead his wife and daughter, those with whom he is most intimate, what will prevent him from doing the same to the American public?” I can’t disagree with these well-known Christian leaders on this point, although I often wonder how it is that all that moral outrage disappeared when these same behaviors are exhibited by leaders of their preferred political party.
“I have watched as some of these who gave stem-winding speeches about ‘character’ in office during the Clinton administration,” wrote Russell Moore, “now minimize the spewing of profanities in campaign speeches, race-baiting and courting white supremacists, boasting of adulterous affairs, debauching public morality and justice through the casino and pornography industries.”
Momma says promiscuity “ruins kings” and damages the moral fabric of the people the king rules. Not to lay the entire blame on American politicians for the pitiful sexual mores of our so-called “Christian nation,” but it is one contributing factor to what we’re experiencing these days. (BTW, the irony of Solomon including this woman’s counsel about womanizing kings hasn’t escaped my attention. Maybe that’s why he included it at the end of his book of advice.)
Her warning went beyond the intoxicating influence of sex. She wanted her son to be wary of the universally-familiar liquid intoxicant: alcohol. Sex and other kinds of “spirits” can damage a ruler’s judgment and fitness to lead, and thus does harm to the people he rules. Drunken kings tend to “deprive all the oppressed of their rights” (Proverbs 31:5). Self-control avoids such carelessness.
Sex and alcohol aren’t the only intoxicants that dull a ruler’s ability to rule well. Being “under the influence” of anything that turns his attention from those under his care in order to satiate his own desires, does not make for a good leader. There are other deleterious inebriants in which rulers have been known to imbibe––being addicted to adulation and flattery, being drunk on power to control the masses, and demanding allegiance to themselves for instance. Instead of using power for personal gain, he should focus on safeguarding the vulnerable.
We have no shortage these days of elbow-bending power-drunk American politicians! Some are so falling-down-hammered 24-7 with the intoxicant, they’ve become bereft of all sense of humanity and propriety.
Lemuel’s mother proposes to her son to cultivate the character quality of self-control. To it she adds another virtue essential to kings: empathy.
Even secular rulers must have EMPATHY for the poor and needy
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” (Proverbs 31:8-9)
For some rulers, empathy is as distant from their minds as the planet Mustafar (where Darth Vader turned to the dark side, 53,000 light-years from the galactic core). One famous young influencer once publicly opined on his podcast that empathy was a “made-up, new age term.” Lemuel’s mom and I emphatically disagree.
Self-control and empathy, says the king’s mother, go together. Put negatively, shamelessness and indifference to the needs of others are symbiotic impulses. She says kings can’t afford to pickle their brain with alcohol or promiscuity lest they forget their duty to those they serve. Substance abusers (and I grew up with one) or womanizers don’t tend to put others first. It’s all about how they feel at the moment. The needs of the needy don’t show up on their radar.
Everything orbits around them instead of toward the needs of the people they serve. They star in their own film and demand top billing when the credits roll and on all promotional ads. They’re addicted to the shots of endorphins from self-aggrandizement. Empathy for others is non-existent, if not considered a detriment in their alternate universe.
The destitute, poor and needy have no agency, no voice among the powerful to speak up for themselves. Their king, not to mention other privileged folk must speak up for them. People pickled with privilege and numbed with narcissism can’t see beyond their mirror to the people they’re supposed to care about more than their own success and power.
Most kings and other secular rulers were born to power and privilege. Their gated communities provide protection from the destitute, poor, or needy folk. The opportunity has never afforded them to get acquainted with anyone on a lower social register. “Judging fairly” isn’t something they’ve been trained to do. What’s fair is what they say it is.
It’s interesting that her sole political concern for her son the king was to be compassionate toward the destitute. She says nothing about building up the treasury, creating monuments to his reign, or establishing a dominant military power. Just that he sees and tends to the neediest in his kingdom.
Of course, we don’t have kings in this country, at least we’re not supposed to. Instead, he have “free-and-fair“ elections, at least we’re supposed to. Therefore, as you go to vote this time (and every time), please take into consideration these necessary character qualities of self-control and empathy for the candidates you select.
